No couple, even the most in love, can escape the conflicts and small conflicts of everyday life. Considered healthy when they are at a reasonable frequency, they become poisonous by growing in size or by repeating themselves unceasingly. Moreover, the conflicts that always revolve around the same subject speak volumes about the quality of your relationship. Find out what yours reveals of your couple!
Questioned on the subject, Dr. Kimberly Mofitt, a Toronto-based relationship expert in Canada, said that arguing over and over on the same subject is not at all healthy for a relationship. On the contrary, this shows that the partners are not making enough efforts to find a solution. It also adds that by analyzing the usual subjects of conflicts, it is possible to identify underlying problems that represent the true source of conflict.
Here's what your usual conflicts about your couple reveals:
You are arguing for financial affairs
Even though most people think that arguing around financial matters usually comes from a lack of money or a precarious financial situation, the reality is quite different. These discrepancies mainly stem from differences in the values and priorities of each of the two partners.
Solution: It is essential to discuss in order to clarify the short and long term objectives of each and to try to find a compromise and a list of priorities to respect. In case the couple can not find common ground, it is recommended to call upon a therapist who will act as mediator.
You argue because of household chores
This is one of the most common sources of conflicts. Even if household tasks seem trivial, they have a considerable impact on the quality of the relationship. So if you find yourself facing a full dishwasher while you have asked your partner to empty it 3 times, in the same morning it is high time to work on the quality of communication and listening ability In your couple. A good partner will listen and respond to the requests of others, even if they seem futile and unimportant.
Solution: To solve problems related to passive listening, take this three-step approach: first determine the problem and explain it, then express what you feel about it and why, and ask To your partner to seek with you a solution that will satisfy both of you. By doing this, your partner will have less trouble understanding your point of view.
You are quarreling because of your respective families
When it is the family of a partner that is the most recurrent subject of conflicts, this generally shows that the complainant feels devalued or does not have the importance he deserves within Of the couple. When a partner shows dissatisfaction because of frequent visits to in-laws or regular visits, this is not a sign of a lack of affection towards her but rather of a certain apprehension to move on. Second priority in the other.
Solution: The best way to avoid these conflicts is to agree not to plan visits or family events without consulting each other. It is also recommended to spend time alone with his partner to reassure him, maintain the balance of the couple and preserve his privacy.
You argue about intercourse
Whether you want to have more or less intercourse, or want to try new positions, arguing about what happens in the bedroom can significantly affect the quality of your physical and emotional attachment. Due to a real lack of communication within the couple, this problem should be solved by talking openly about his intimacy expectations, his fears and his fantasies.
Solution: Take time to quietly and openly discuss your intimacy expectations outside of your bedroom. Raising such a delicate subject at the time of frolic will only cool the atmosphere and put your partner on the defensive. You can also schedule a monthly or bi-monthly session to discuss your relationship in general, identifying positive points to reinforce and negative points to improve.