A fulfilling intercourse relationship is one of the main keys to a stable and lasting relationship. It is true that initially, the couple generally does not have libido problems, but as the relationship "ages", routine and daily stress take over and push both partners to reduce The frequency of their frolics. To remedy this and avoid accumulating frustrations, here are the 6 mistakes to avoid for better labido understanding!
The 6 mistakes to avoid for a better intercourse life:
1 - To believe that it is absolutely necessary a gallant rendezvous to find oneself
Influenced by movies or wanting to break a little routine, most couples opt for a gallant rendezvous, in order to better meet and prepare the ground for a passionate and torrid night. However, according to Dr. Tammy Nelson, an intercourse relations therapist, "if you think that after a candlelit dinner and a few champagne cuts you will go home with the urge to throw you in the arms, One from the other, you are mistaken. After a hearty meal, alcohol and a long evening out, most couples only think about sleeping. "
Solution: Consider sending the children to grandparents or another family member to spend a moment alone at home. Consider this evening as a sacred moment of "planned spontaneity."
2 - Avoid intercourse for want of envy
An adult life is very stressful and exhausting, and this does not fail to reflect negatively on the libido. So if you wait until you are completely free and full of energy to do so, you can wait a long time. Moreover, for many people, especially women, desire comes with excitement, not the other way around. Let yourself be tempted by the caresses of your partner and you will realize that you want more intercourse than you think.
Solution: As soon as you get the chance, skip ahead. Even a quickie will help you connect with your partner and strengthen ties with him. Moreover, thanks to the hormones secreted during the orgasm (endorphin, dopamine, serotonin, etc.) your stress will be reduced and your sleep improved.
3 - Giving up to routine
With time and knowing exactly what excites your partner and makes her happy, a certain intercourse routine sets in. According to Dr. Nelson, as long as this routine works, there is no reason to change it. But sometimes, because of the lack of communication, some bad habits are anchored in the couple and the couple finds themselves stuck between the inability to change them and the fear of hurting the other if he talks about it.
Solution: Choose a day of the week to try something new. Start by expressing each of the three intercourse things you enjoy in the other as well as an erotic act that you would like to practice more often. Realized in bed, this exercise may well act as preliminaries.
4 - To worry about the quality of the intercourse life
Nowadays, images and suggestive scenes are everywhere, which has the effect of putting pressure on us as to the quality of our frolics. Amy Levine, Couples Coach New York, says that intercourse is not supposed to resemble movies. Intercourses in normal life has an intimate and vulnerable character, demands the practice and may even seem bizarre in some situations.
Solution: Be open-minded and spontaneous. Do not hesitate to express your wishes and desires, and to take the initiative. Establish with your partner a couple approach without judgment or prejudice.
5 - Taking your emotional connection for granted
When was the last time you spoke with your partner about things other than shopping to do? According to Dr. Paul Hokeymeyer, a New York couple therapist, because of the overbooked days, the time that the partners actually spend together corresponds to the time spent sleeping on the same bed. A quality relationship requires some emotional connectivity during periods of awakening.
Solution: Spend 30 minutes before bedtime, talk to your partner face-to-face and talk to him, leaving aside anything that might disrupt the mood of the moment.
6 - Do not talk about intercourse
"Not having an honest, open-hearted conversation is one of the biggest problems for most couples," says Elona Landau, a intimacy educator in Portland. For fear of being misjudged or repulsed, the partners prefer to silence their thoughts and accumulate frustrations.
Solution: Listen to what your partner has to say, without ulterior motives being ready to answer frankly and clearly express what you feel. Above all do not draw hasty conclusions and put yourself in the other's place to better understand it.