Disputes, a necessary evil? The therapists are unanimous if the quarrels crystallize the conflicts and disarm the unions, these wars sometimes have good and help to strengthen a couple, provided they know how to overcome them. What are the most common conflicts within a couple and how can they be beneficial?
A couple's favorite battlefields? Finance, intercourse, sharing of responsibilities, ties with the beautiful family. A couple can better manage their conflicts around the angry subjects, find a consensus without violence, without rancor and without putting love at wrong. What are the 5 most inevitable but also the most constructive quarrels for a couple?
Money feeds the quarrels within a couple
Money is the first reason for dispute in a couple. Tensions arise when the woman works hard or earns twice her spouse. Power rests with those who wear panties and servitude to those who are unemployed, who do not live well with this dependence. Money divides, even when resources abound, many couples who have opposing relationships with money suffer.
When one loves, one does not count? Not always true. To avoid conflicts, the couple should establish a budget, discuss with tact, without taboos or embarrassment, their financial situation, their objectives and priorities. The question becomes a common responsibility.
Intercourse conditions couples without their knowledge
Intercourse is as difficult as money to approach within a couple, for fear of brusqueness, break down romanticism or out of simple modesty. For some people, talking about intercourse breaks the charm or disturbs a little more the course of their life, so they do not talk about their intimacy understanding, nor to say what is good, or what is wrong. Others fear the outpourings of affection or dare not take the lead, and affirm their desires because they project themselves into the refusal of the other. By dint of silencing this ill-being, the tension rises and ends up by shattering the most vulnerable couples. The chosen words, reproaches, confidences or sharp words define the contours of intimacy within a couple. If one of the partners seeks to explain what the other is experiencing in the intercourse relationship, the assailant of questions, it should be a mark of interest and attention, even an anxiety.
There is no point in pointing out, on the defensive, there is no harm in saying what one likes or not, one's enjoyment and desire that the other is not supposed to guess. Intimacy and the symbiosis of two bodies, it does not decide and does not pose an ultimatum, it is tamed and cultivated.
Fear my wrath!
Managing negative emotions, anger in mind, is no easy task. The virulent reactions of an angry spouse, very unlikely to question, undermine the quality of exchanges and instinctively generate repetitive conflicts. A problem of size arises when the couple is composed by two personalities with hot broth temperaments and who lynch each other. It is impossible to avoid the contexts that make us come out of our hinges, but it is all opportune to know how to retain his hostility and anger by remaining constantly attentive to the emotions of his partner. The blossoming of a couple happens above all by the serenity that each one is able to make endure.
My beloved mother-in-law
The connivance between two partners can be altered by the intrusive intrusion of the beautiful family. School holidays, institutionalized lunches, children's education, being in a couple also involves having to deal with the mother "who knows everything and controls everything" on the other. But how to find the right distance without making a stir in your couple? It is advisable to speak to her spouse without taboos and to express her frustration and feelings of being invaded, and to work jointly to center the couple on themselves. The golden rule is to not let anybody interfere in their conflicts.
Responsibilities on a daily basis, who does what?
Washing dishes or shopping, putting up the curtains, taking out the garbage ... In 2017, these tasks are unfortunately still badly distributed within the family home. Result of the races: these inequalities, of which the men remain unconscious are not without creating great turbulences in the couples.
Nonetheless, household chores, if they are not always a source of contention, also help to strengthen ties, even boost libido, if they are done with dedication and a lot of empathy. For both small and large chores, a couple has a great interest in teaming up and getting more involved in the well-being of the couple.