Friendship is an essential part of our lives. As the famous Lewis once said: "Friendship is useless, like philosophy, art ... It has no value for survival; It is one of those things that gives value to survival. Finding someone you love to spend time without any romantic thought can lead us to new experiences and give us a sense of understanding. A true friend ensures your backs during each crisis, holds your hand during each tragedy and applauds each of your successes.
Development of a friendship
However, friendships can feel the same stress and pressure as any other relationship and can turn sour with time. The difference between friendships and other relationships is that it is particularly difficult to identify the bad ones.
Often the dynamics of a friendship changes because two people have made different choices in their lives and one is happier than the other, or they just become two completely different people. Sometimes these differences may settle over time, but for some it is a sign that the effort to nurture this friendship is pulling you down.
Identifying a toxic friendship and dropping it is crucial for your emotional well-being. If you're not sure if a friendship is worth it, pay attention to these three signs.
Your friend makes you ashamed
You embarrass yourself deliberately is one thing, but when your friend's behavior makes you cringe every time you're in public together, it's a sign that your relationship has become toxic. Dr. Patricia Leavy, author of American Circumstance, a novel that explores friendships among women, sees this as a clear indication that you have passed the age for this friendship.
This shows that your behavior has changed and that you (probably) have matured. Having a friend who is not willing to change from what he was in the past is a sign that staying close is no longer beneficial to any of you.
Your friend does not get along with your other friends, family or partner
If all your friends do not appreciate your partner, it's likely that something is wrong. On the other hand, if one of your friends has a problem with them and does not want to share you, it's a problem.
This petty jealousy usually manifested in derogatory remarks and rude behavior is the indicator that this friendship has become an addiction rather than a place of mutual respect.
Spending time with this kind of person alters your vision of the world and darkens it, as it tries to create a "us versus the world" vision, leaving very little space for growth or to open yourself up to new experiences.
Your friend never supports you
At the heart of a true friendship is the support. Celebrating the good news and experiencing compassion in difficult times. Your friends are the ones who will stand by you to help you through the most difficult challenges. More importantly, when things are going well or when you are considering taking a risk, you sometimes need people to mobilize and tell you how great you are.
A toxic friend will do the opposite of all these things. Successes will be welcomed at best by a roll of eyes and at worst by a derogatory comment. It will remind you of your defects and uncertainties in an attempt to undermine your insurance. It is the side of a toxic relationship that must absolutely flee.
Friendship should always be a source of comfort and love, a relationship between two equal individuals who add value to each other's lives while enhancing our joy and understanding of the human condition.
As the great French journalist and writer Albert Camus once wrote: "Do not walk in front of me, I may not follow." Do not walk behind me, I may not guide you. Walk right beside me and be my friend. "