If you do not know the term "manipulation", it is a situation of psychological maltreatment in which a loved one gives you false information and insists obstinately on their veracity, which, in time, calls into question Your perception of reality and makes you feel guilty throughout your relationship with that person. This kind of behavior often comes from an individual who is trying to hide his infidelity, financial scams or any other bad thing.
One of the most disturbing facets of this technique is that anyone can be victimized even very intelligent and emotionally stable people. This is due in part to the fact that the natural tendency of humans leads them to believe and trust the people they love. So rather than question the beloved being, they tend to defend him and seek excuses for him, even if they are hurt by this negative behavior.
The manipulation begins with little lies and plausible excuses, such as using a project to urgently postpone the delay for dinner. A loving partner would not question that. Of course, the more time passes the more frequent and poor excuses become.
If you feel you are being manipulated in your relationship, here are the 3 questions you should ask yourself. If your answer is "yes" and you have in mind examples of the cases, your partner may have betrayed you.
1 - When you ask your partner to tell you where he was or what he was doing, does he change roles and blame you instead of taking his actions?
If so, you may have heard sentences such as:
"I told you I was working late and that I should not be expected. Why do not you listen to me? I really feel like I do not count for you. You get upset for anything. "
"Why are you constantly asking me if something is happening? It's really painful when you do that."
"I worked late at the office and then I did not sleep. I can not believe you're upset because I forgot to call. How could I have called you if I was sleeping? "
2 - Does your partner give you the impression of being psychologically and emotionally fragile, and that is why you do not trust him / her completely?
If so, you may have heard phrases such as:
"It's just a colleague. When she calls me, it's just because we have a project to finish. Why are you still so jealous? "
"I was not at all in the park with another woman, I was in a meeting all day, you're really crazy if you think you've seen me in the park."
"I will never do that, I do not even look at other women, you just act like a madman and it really annoys me that you have so little confidence in me."
3 - Do you sometimes silence your instinct and your perception of reality because that is the only way to believe your partner's words?
If so, you have forced yourself to believe words that you know are false at bottom:
"I was not looking at her, I was looking over her shoulder to make a sign to the waiter."
"I told you Friday morning that I will be on the move for work this weekend, and you may not be listening to me, or maybe you were still sleeping and you did not hear me."
"I do not know who you saw in this romantic dinner restaurant. All I know is that it was not me."
If you answered these questions positively, it is more than likely that there is a problem in your relationship, and you are not the cause of it even if your partner has made you believe it. Of course this is not an easy thing to accept, but if necessary ask for the opinion of your relatives or call a professional to follow a therapy