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The Best Divorce Letter of All Time

The Best Divorce Letter of All Time

The Best Divorce Letter of All Time

Most of the time, divorces do not always happen in the best conditions and there is even a tendency to doubt that the protagonists could have loved one day. Nevertheless, there are some exceptions and events can take a comical twist that is out of the ordinary.

Here is the story of a couple who decided to separate themselves by letters interposed without going through the box lawyers, judges, mediations and without leading the long fight that usually represents a divorce. Just like a bandage that is removed quickly and painlessly, it must be one of the most "simple" separations in history!
"I am writing this letter to you to warn you that I will leave you forever. I was a real gentleman to you for 7 years and I have absolutely nothing to reproach myself with. The last two weeks have been a real hell ... Your chief called and he informed me that you had resigned today, it is the last straw that caused the vase to overflow.

Recently you went home and you did not even notice that I had a new haircut or that I had cooked your favorite dish and even less that I had offered you new silk underwear . You ate in 2 minutes and you fell asleep right after watching all your series with rose water.

You do not tell me that you love me, that you want me, you refuse to have intercourse or any physical contact that would connect us as husband and wife. Either you deceive me or you no longer take pleasure in being by my side, in any case know that I'm gone.

Your ex-husband
P.S: Do not look for me, your sister and I plan to move both! Best Regards ! ".

Here is the reaction of his wife:

"Dear ex-husband,

Nothing could have given me more pleasure than receiving your letter. Certainly, you and I have been married for 7 years yet you do not really fit the definition of a gentleman. The reason I look at so many series of rose water is that they allow me to escape from your perpetual jeremiads and lamentations.

I actually noticed your new haircut but the first thing that came to my mind is "you look great like a woman! "And since my mother taught me that silence is golden and that it is better to say nothing if it is not to make a compliment, I preferred not to comment.

As for my so-called favorite meal, you had to confuse me with my sister because I stopped eating pork for 7 years. As for the new underwear, I turned your back because the label mentioning the price (49.99 $) had not been removed and I prayed that the fact that my sister borrowed me 50 $ the same morning is just a coincidence.

Despite all this, I felt good with you and I was convinced that we could make it work. When I learned that I had won 10 million dollars in the lottery this morning, I decided to step down and bought two plane tickets for Jamaica for both of us. However, on returning home you were already gone ... I suppose everything happens for a specific reason.

I wish you the life and happiness you have always sought. For my part, my lawyer told me that your letter was a guarantee that you would not receive a penny from me after the divorce. Take care of yourself.

Your ex-wife!