Romantic relationships are an integral and primordial part of our lives. But the idea that we get changed over the years, knowing that some experiences can be painful but useful to learn to make better choices and better manage relationships. There are therefore 3 types of relationships that each of us must go through during his life.
The first love
The first is the one we usually meet during our teenage years, probably in high school. It's an innocent love, like the love stories we find in fairy tales.
It is love that meets the expectations of society, perhaps our families. We enter it believing that it will be our first and only love. Even when sometimes it does not seem entirely right, we strive to censor who we really are for it to work and insist because we naively believe that compromising one's own personality is what love is supposed to be.
This type of love is characterized by the fact that what people think of us is more important than what we actually feel. This love is the one that often seems to be the good one.
Second love
The second is the one who is supposed to be "hard love", the one who will teach us lessons about who we are and what we are looking for in terms of love. It is love that hurts, full of lies, pain and manipulation.
We think that we make a smarter choice than our first love, but this choice, although it does not lead us to the right person, is a necessary evil if we want to discover what we expect from love. This second love, however, can become a vicious circle, which we could repeat often because we firmly believe that the end will be different in one way or another. And each time will be worse than the previous one.
This love can even become unhealthy and frustrating. It very often causes emotional abuse, sometimes even physical, but always a huge suffering. And just like a soap opera, it's this drama that ends up keeping us addicted to history.
In this kind of love, trying to make things work becomes more important than challenging them. It is the love in which we wish to be right.
Third love
The third is the one that surprises us. It is the one we do not see coming, because it seems all wrong and seems to oppose all the ideas we had made about what love should be. This love comes so easily, that sometimes it seems unreal. This is the kind of connection that can not be explained.
In this love, when we meet the right person, just go there. There is no attention of what is supposed to happen or how the other person is supposed to act, nor of pressure to be a person we are not. The person accepts us as we are, and it shakes us very deeply.
Maybe we are not all lucky enough to recognize, or even meet all these loves in a lifetime. It may be because we are not ready yet. Maybe we need to learn all that love is not, so that we can learn what it really is.
There are also those of us who are lucky enough to meet Love # 3 first and live it passionately for a lifetime. This kind of love is the one we sometimes see around us, that of those grandparents who despite their age still love each other like teenagers. Their example leads us to wonder if we really know how to love. But whoever manages to find his third and true love is just as lucky, being smarter to have learned from his sorrows and pains of the past.
We can choose to stay with our first love, the one who looks good on the outside and who likes others. We can stay with our second love under the pretext that we must fight to deserve happiness. Or finally, we can choose to wait for true love. The one that makes you feel like home for no obvious reason, one that is not turbulent like a storm, but rather like the calm that comes after.
There may be something special about our first love, something heartbreaking about our second ... But there is also something quite amazing in our third. He is the one we never see coming, the one that really lasts, the one that shows us why it never worked before.
And it is this possibility that makes the test always worthwhile, because the truth is that you never know when you will fall in love!