At the beginning of a relationship, you agree with each other and compromise. But as the relationship ends up going beyond the "honeymoon" phase, you begin to show different opinions, behaviors, and individualities. It is then that you experience a fluctuation in the harmony of the union, this step is actually a test for couples. So if you make your arguments healthy, you could really learn from each other.
The dispute is a major form of communication
It reveals individualism, different perspectives and the ability to learn from each other. Disputes are not necessarily an indicator that there are problems in a relationship. Psychologists explain that to discuss well, you need to have skills that take time to set up. Here are 5:
- Do not insist on being right
- Speak as soon as you feel angry
- Listen
- Stick to the subject in question
- Do not say something that you will regret
Why do we say that couples who fight love each other?
To argue does not always mean that a relationship suffers
Having arguments can actually indicate that two people have their own individual opinions and points of view. They can put them on the table and share them in a healthy way. Couples who do not take the time to talk can be very distant and tense because no party wants to share their thoughts for fear of doing or hurting themselves. This lack of debate can be explained by a lack of commitment or trust in the relationship.
How far will you maintain your commitment even if you express your own ideas?
Dr. Stéphanie Sarkis says there are seven ingredients to a healthy and happy relationship and arguing is one of them. She goes on to explain: "I have never seen a healthy couple who never argues, who never argues. If a couple enters my office and tells me that there has never been a fight, I tell myself that something is wrong. You can debate without fighting, the argument is probably not violent. Express your views without insulting or raising your voice. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. "
There will always be challenges and conflicts in a relationship
Once the relationship moves to stability and the long term, people tend to return to their own territory. They want to be heard and understood, to follow their passions and to be recognized for who they are. Discussing couples express their desire to be heard, when done constructively, there is no dispute.
There is a difference between arguing angry and expressing your thoughts
You begin to understand what is important to debate and what is not. Author and speaker Elizabeth Gilbert says, "You can measure happiness in a marriage by the number of scars that each partner has on the tongue, by preventing anger from causing him to say regrettable things. To see this as a holistic or healthy way to create trust in a relationship, to be submissive in any case has never been an act of bravery. It is an act of constantly satisfying the other while holding the role of martyr in the relationship. Therefore, in a couple full of love and trust, one can argue without being angry.
Couples arguing tend to be passionate
Some couples thrive with this roller coaster ride that stimulates their hormones and blood pressure. Relationship expert Dr. Pam Spurr says, "The way of talking speaks volumes about a relationship. The wise couple recognize this and keep an eye on how they behave during disagreements. Unconsciously, fights show that you care about each other, even if during the fight, you feel annoyed by your partner. "
Mutual respect, love, compromise, compassion and trust are crucial factors in a healthy relationship
As with everything in life, there is talk of moderation. You would never want to insult or disrespect a loved one. So you can express your point of view so that the other can understand. When you are authentic in a relationship, you can always share what you believe in. Everything is in the way you present things.
"The most true form of love is how you behave towards someone, not how you feel about him. - Steve Hall