We all have in our life this person who, to hear him, one would believe that his life is only a drama and that his existence is only a series of disasters which succeed one after the other. But when you take a look at the reality of the facts, you immediately realize that it is the state of mind in which this person is that makes it focuses on the less pleasant aspects of things, and she is bathed in an ocean of negativity and has the habit of complaining.
The problem lies in the fact that rubbing shoulders with such people is not very simple, since in the best case, if you do not absorb your negativity, you will have all the time the impression that it drains all your energy. and gives rise to a fairly heavy exhaustion.
How negativity wins our brain and ends up programming it
Nevertheless, that would amount to making a gross mistake to believe that we are safe from such a situation because we can complain without even realizing it, it has even become lately a phenomenon of society that we must absolutely pay attention.
And according to Dr. Robin Kowalski, professor of psychology at Clemson University, it happens to all people from time to time small accesses of negativity, so it is more a question of controlling this trend so that it does not exceed a certain threshold and does not become a habit inherent in our daily life. It is in this way that pessimism becomes a vicious circle in which we see that everything around us is bad, which then pushes us to become withdrawn and isolated from the rest of the world.
The neuropsychologist Donald Hebb, for his part, is convinced that neurons connect to each other as a result of specific experiments. Thus, whenever we experience a feeling, have a physical sensation or a particular thought, thousands of neurons are activated and bind to each other to form a vast neural network. Over time, the brain eventually schematizes these connections, which means that it learns to trigger the same neurons repeatedly and with the same type of thinking.
The different categories to take into account
Sympathy Seeker: This is the kind of people who are constantly looking for attention through a whole bunch of methods like the famous "I'm worse than you".
The eternal dissatisfied: These people are the ones who will tell you their misfortunes without listening to the solutions that you could offer them or the advice you could give them, the important thing for them is to mope.
Chronic Complainant: This category is that of people who "ruminate" as the researchers say. Which means that they have the annoying tendency to constantly resurrect the same problems and complain about them again and again. Although from a logical point of view, speaking of a concern gives a feeling of liberation and lightness, it is unfortunately not the case for these people. It is often the opposite, the more they remember and complain about it, the more their anxiety and worry grow.
Steps to get rid of negativity
- Learn to be grateful for the finer things in your life.
- Be aware of this bad habit and contain yourself whenever you feel the urge to complain wins you. Also, be aware of the elements and people who push you to become negative and overcome them with a positive attitude.
- Keep in mind that negativity can only be fought by taking into account the good aspects of life and concentrating on it. When your state of mind is positive, your thoughts and actions will be too.
- Make it a habit to cultivate what is most positive and beneficial, and learn to value your skills and talents. The same goes for those of others. Do not forget all that is futile and concentrate on the essentials.