All parents know that there are a number of values that must be instilled in children to allow them to evolve and develop their personality in the right direction. But what some people do not know is that there are specific values that go through the learning of words that are simple yet contain a deep social and moral significance.
These values are transmitted by simple words
The value of the word "thank you" is to treat the soul of the other with respect, to use "please" in our requests or interactions with those around us is an act that is clearly worth 'to be transmitted to the youngest.
It is very possible that you yourself are part of this famous generation, which has always been taught that people must be respected and that it is necessary to treat them with affection, so that one is tour treated with respect and recognition.
The power to give thanks, an act to pass on to our children
Saying thank you, hello or asking for things by using a "please" is not just an act of courtesy. Believe it or not, it's a way of getting our children to think and move from the usual egotism of early childhood to the recognition of others and their needs. One thing that should happen after 6 years.
When talking about moral development in children, we can not not speak of Lawrence Kohlberg, this American psychologist who was a pioneer in this area. In his researches in the field of education, development and reasoning, he has shown a pattern of moral development at an early age. While children are different from each other, such a development does not exclude these differences because the values of respect and recognition are common to all people.
During early childhood, between the ages of 2 and 5, the child is motivated only by rewards and punishments. He understands that he must meet certain standards to gain affection and avoid punishment.
In the second sentence, which is actually "the golden age". Between 6 and 9, this individualistic egocentrism is gradually put aside.
Between 8 and 10 years old, the child is already able to understand the respect of offering to others and of being grateful. It is also common for these children to defend their friends, their brothers, because they become aware of the sense of justice at the collective level.
In adolescence, they develop "correct justice" and become critical of certain things they consider disrespectful or unjust.
Simple courtesy gestures that guarantee a better connection to the world
Remember this 4 year old child who is offered a gift. As a result, parents tell him: "what do we say now? ". The child responds, almost reluctantly and in a low voice: "Thank you. "
But in fact, no matter if we have to repeat it several times, there will come a time when not only will it automate it, but realize what it means.
When a child politely asks for something in class, he may notice that his classmate is smiling at him. He answers with "thank you", the comrade then says in answer "with pleasure".
All of this leads to strong connections based on positive emotions. The child integrates this process of giving thanks obligatorily but ends up doing it spontaneously and with pleasure, a process that will come back again and again in his life, because positive gestures offer friendliness and respect for others makes things easier.
The power of a respectful education
The concept of "respectful education" was first introduced by authors William Sears and John Bowlby. The latter emphasizes the importance of promoting the natural adaptation of the child to his environment and promoting empathy at home and making him better understand himself and his surroundings. It is in fact a healthy attachment between parents and children, it includes physical proximity, caresses, positive words and ongoing communication.
Therefore, it is very important to advocate for an education based on positive reinforcement, the need to give thanks, to ask "please", to be patient and to respect the rhythm and time a child has need when it comes to acquiring knowledge. Respectful education argues that positive emotion has more power than negative emotion, because our brain is always looking for that kind of stimulus to survive and adapt better.