Sometimes we spend years sacrificing our mental and emotional health in abusive relationships on the grounds that we have to support our family members. But in some cases, cutting ties with family members is one of the most difficult decisions we can face in life, but sometimes it's necessary!
But who wants to be the person who does not talk to his family? No one. But according to Sherrie Campbell, a psychologist licensed in California and author of the book Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person, sometimes it is necessary for the sake of our health.
The reality is that family members are not always healthy people for you, and if these people were not from your family, you would never have chosen them to be part of your life because of their bad behaviors with you.
Campbell discusses several reasons to end relationships with family members:
1. Mental and physical abuse
When the relationship is based on any type of mental, physical, sexual, verbal or emotional abuse. When the relationship is based on manipulation, manifest or hidden, and you are used and abused. When you live in constant anxiety, it's time to love yourself enough to leave.
2. Constantly negative contact
It is time to end the relationship with family members when the only contact with them is negative. The contact you have with them always serves to lower you or make you feel weak or inferior.
3. a lot of stress
When the relationship with family members creates a lot of stress that affects important areas of your life, at work, at home or both. When your emotions are totally taken by defending yourself and wanting to explain to you, it's time to break with these people.
4. You become obsessed with their gossip
If you find yourself obsessed with gossip about yourself, trying to correct the wrong information, and even losing sleep, then you are invaded by the toxicity of your family members.
5. Unilateral relationship
When the relationship turns only around the other person and there is no real reason why the other can not make any effort for health and maintaining the relationship with you. But unilateral relations are doomed to failure. Now, you must begin to focus on your own healing.
6. When the relationship concerns only the loan or the money
If you see that your family members only contact you for their own interest, to have or borrow the agent, know that they are toxic to your well-being and only benefit from your generosity.
Toxic people are not correctable
It's not your job to "fix" toxic people, even if they are family members. Toxic people create dramas and live in a world of negativity and you must choose for yourself whether you can tolerate their behavior for a lifetime or whether it is time to make your own well-being a priority.
This may mean spending less time with them, not sharing personal information with them, or disconnecting entirely, temporarily or permanently from their lives.
Realizing that your family member is not available or open to loving you fully and completely, and discovering the fact that you can not rely on or trust them, is one of the most difficult achievements of your family. life.
It is not because they are members of your family that it is a relationship based on mutual love, respect and support for one another. You are a family by blood and this may be the only link that exists in your relationship.
You have the right to a healthy and happy life
You deserve to be treated with love and respect. You can not live healthy if you are constantly invaded by their toxicity.
You will not live a positive life that you deserve in the entourage of a toxic person who deliberately hurts you and prevents you from experiencing true happiness.
Practicing self-love and taking care of yourself every day will be a new concept for you, but over time you will see and feel that it is the right step towards a new and fulfilling life.
