Narcissists will tell you that they love you, perhaps more easily and more often than others, but what does it really mean? Explanations.
Maintaining a relationship with a narcissist may seem like an exciting adventure. Indeed, although he is egocentric, manipulative, convinced of his superiority and lacks compassion and empathy, the narcissist can be absolutely charming and charismatic especially in the beginning, but things are spoiled very quickly. Why ? Just because he is someone who uses others and is so obsessed with himself that he can make your life unlivable.
What are the causes of narcissistic personality disorders?
Before talking about the causes of narcissism, it is good to know that to be narcissistic is above all to be in pain. Indeed, the narcissistic people feed on others to be able to exist and to spare their ego scorned.
This suffering often finds its origin in childhood. During this essential period of personality development, a flaw occurs if parents and other family members do not provide the necessary guidance for the child to be confident and balanced. Among these landmarks and important elements, there is the affection and the love of the parents. When these are nonexistent, the child develops a multitude of means to attract their attention, he is in the seduction to excess which explains his narcissistic behavior in adulthood. With a weakened ego, the narcissist constantly needs to seduce and enhance himself especially in the eyes of others.
The narcissistic personality disorder is detected by at least five of the following symptoms:
- Exaggerate his own importance
- Always worried about fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence or romanticism
- Believes it is special and can only be understood by other people or special institutions
- Requires constant attention and admiration from others
- Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
- Take advantage of others to achieve your own goals
- Ignore feelings of others, lack of empathy
- Is often jealous of others or believes other people envy him
- Shows arrogant behaviors and attitudes
With all these personality traits, are narcissistic people able to love? When they say "I love you," what does it mean? To find out, read more of this article.
Narcissists like the attention you give them
Narcissists generally suffer from low self-esteem (even if they feel instinctively better than everyone else). They usually compensate for their lack of self-esteem by seeking out partners who fill their need for attention and endlessly admire them. In a relationship, everything revolves around the narcissist and the partner is often reduced to an object or a possession that is only there to reinforce the ego of the narcissist. The latter succeeds in doing so by taking advantage of the kindness of his partner.
Narcissists love the power they hold on you
If you are in a romantic relationship and you feel like you are losing your head, you are certainly in a toxic relationship and you are most likely dealing with a narcissist.
Indeed, a narcissist distorts your words and minimizes your emotions. It intimidates you and plays with your emotions until you are reduced to a state of total dependency. The narcissist takes pleasure in seeing how far he is able to push you and delights in seeing you unable to struggle or escape. He has you almost completely in his grip and enjoys this feeling of power he has on you. What he feels when you put him on a pedestal while he treats you like less than anything gives him a perverse sense of satisfaction because he reinforces his belief that he is above you.
Narcissists like to sow doubt in your head
Perhaps because they struggle so much with their own feelings, narcissists like to watch their partner doubt him. They feel proud to see the effect of their manipulation and their unhealthy actions.
"I love you" means "I love you".
In the end, if a narcissist tells you he loves you, he really means that he loves himself. He needs to constantly have a spectator who makes great efforts to please him and thus repair his ego that has long been abused in childhood. A narcissist never conceives of a relationship as a relationship between two people who do the best they can to live in harmony. The only person who counts is HE.
