On average, a woman becomes a mother at 29 years old. It usually has 2 children and this figure varies little since the 70s. At the time of the babyboom, we spoke instead of 3 children per woman. The first reasons are economic. INSEE recalls that the standard of living decreases as the number of children increases in the number of children. But that's not the only reason, and one study looked at it.
When you see your friends and their swarm of children, you make the easy observation that having children can be stressful. Parents of three children are more likely to be stressed by parenthood than other parents with multiple children. But why 3?
Poll surveyed the issue
The Today Show website conducted a survey that yielded surprising results. Although it is expected that a parent of three children is more stressed than a parent of two children. What is surprising is that these same parents are more stressed than those with more than three children.
The study of approximately 7,000 parents found that parents of four children were the least stressed of all parents surveyed. Psychologists have explained that arriving at four or five children, a parent tends to less seek perfectionism as a parent. The birth of the fourth is usually the triggering moment for a parent. He realizes that he has neither the time nor the mental faculties to be perfectly listening to each of his children. Instead, they become a little more relaxed.
A race against time
For 60% of parents, the time they have to devote to the needs of their children is their main source of stress because it is limited. Unfortunately for the parents of three children, their time is now divided and they are not yet able to admit that they can not do everything. They aspire (excessively) for perfectionism.
The frustration of these parents is all the greater because they become stressed because they are stressed. Stress is stress. 72% of parents surveyed cited their stress as a factor that made them more stressed. These parents think that by being better parents, they would be less harassed by their disgruntled children. They find themselves in a negative spiral of stress calling stress.
Another category of stressed parents
Parents with daughters are also more stressed than parents with one or more boys. This does not necessarily mean that girls themselves are more difficult. Some important societal factors make a girl's education more difficult than that of a son. Girls often have higher expectations than boys for their behavior, clothing and body, which can create external pressure on girls and their parents. They may also be more vulnerable to predators or aggressors. The stress generated is unconsciously greater at the time of a girl's puberty than that of a boy.
Take time for yourself when you are a parent
Parenting is a rich adventure but one that must remain positive. Without wanting to fall into caricature, a man puts pressure to ensure security and authority in the home while being loving and passionate. A woman puts pressure on all sides of her life. Whether at home or at work, she always wants to be perfect. Stop both wanting to look like the perfect family. Just be the family you are filled with love and support. Avoid the conflict. When the stress is too important. Take a step back and time for yourself or as a couple to dispel any discomfort.
If you know someone who has three children, or even someone who is raising girls, send them this article. They may feel a little better knowing that they are not alone.
