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If You Love Your Children, Let Them Learn To Live Without You

If You Love Your Children, Let Them Learn To Live Without You

Have you ever heard of "helicopter parent"? This term comes straight from Canada and the United States means an overprotective parent who always seems to "steal" to help his child, the least problem or concern and is too involved in his activities and his daily life. However, in the long run, this could have repercussions on the development and behavior of the child.

When I was a child, helicopter parents did not exist. My parents loved me a lot, but they did not always do their rounds and were not overly involved in my life as a child. They only learned my notes the day I received my newsletters and only spoke to my teachers or coaches when they felt it was absolutely necessary.

My parents waited for me to do my homework alone, and to take part in the housework. They taught me to become autonomous so that I could count on myself. At the same time, I have always had the freedom to explore nature, to run, to play, to develop my cognitive skills and to gain some independence.

I knew how to take risks, do things on my own, and learn from my successes and failures.

Unfortunately, nowadays, being a helicopter parent has become the norm in our society, and this has disastrous effects on the lives of children, especially after entering university.

Today, parents are in constant communication with their children and are in frequent contact with teachers and school administrators. Many of them are plugged into apps to check their kids' grades every hour.

Added to this are the years spent doing homework for their children, bringing them lunch at school, constantly talking with their teachers and coaches ...

"Excessive control parents are often very well meaning and try to support and be there for their children," said Dr. Nicole B. Perry, Minnesota Child Psychology Expert, after the results of a study.


Research has shown that children who learned to control their emotions before the age of 5 were less likely to have emotional and behavioral problems at age 10. They did better in school and had fewer social and emotional problems.

"However, to foster emotional and behavioral skills, parents should allow children to experience a range of emotions, give them space to practice and try to manage these emotions independently, then guide and assist children. when the task becomes too heavy. "

"Our findings underscore the importance of educating well-intentioned parents about supporting children's independence in resolving emotional issues," said Perry.

The study followed 422 children aged 2, 5 and 10 years. Data were collected from parent-child observations and interactions, teacher response collection, and self-assessments by 10-year-olds. Watching the children play with their parents, the researchers identified the helicopter parents as being the ones who constantly guide their children by telling them what to do with and how to play, if they were too strict or too demanding.

One of the most serious consequences of being a child of a helicopter parent is the rising rate of anxiety and depression among young people after they enter university.

Give a good example. Always talk to your children about how they feel, what they want to achieve, what they do not understand ... Perry suggests identifying positive coping strategies, such as "deep breathing, listening to music, coloring or retreat to a quiet space. And let them be. Most quarrels between children resolve themselves and they will recover in the time it takes to get back to your bench. So, stay where you are.