People often think they are happier when they are in a relationship. And when they are single, they feel that something is missing and that there is a void in their lives, which prevents them from being really happy. However, for this psychologist, this is not really the case.
At the annual convention of the American Psychological Association in Denver, United States, a psychologist said that staying single was better for humans.
Being single is better for us?
Professor Bella DePaulo of the University of California, Santa Barbara, believes that by staying single, people can be as authentic as possible and follow their dreams. She does not agree with the statement that marriage gives people a happier and healthier life.
According to Bella DePaulo, it turned out that those who stay single are more focused on themselves than those who are married or in a relationship. This means that single people are more determined in their personal development and growth. It is very common for people who have been together for a long time to forget each other and start to think of themselves as half of the couple.
For Bella DePaulo, it's important to give yourself a chance to learn new things and grow as a person, not just as a couple. Singles are more apt to criticize their work, which means they have high ambitions and do not accept tasks or work environments that do not provide satisfaction. It has been observed that married people are much more docile and do not act when they are not satisfied in their work.
The relationship between married and single has changed in recent years
40.6% of households are single, according to a study conducted by Axciom. According to INSEE (National Institute of Statistics and Economic Studies), 51% of Parisians are single, or 14.2% of French. In the United Kingdom, figures from the Office for National Statistics show that in 2002 there were 23 million married people and 12.5 million single people. But in 2016, there were 23.7 million married people and 16.2 million single people. These statistics show that being single has become increasingly popular over time.
Professor DePaulo has described herself as single, having always been, and still wishing to remain, and she explained that the reasons for the relative popularity of single life are rarely recognized. She also said that a growing number of people are single because they want to be single. Living single allows them to live their lives in the most authentic and rewarding way.
In the past, being single was not well seen by society. Singles were judged because of this. Girls, who were not married before the age of 20 and had no children, were considered to be missed. Nowadays, things have changed and it is possible to be single in our society without any judgment.
Why would the single life be better?
DePaulo explained that single people can focus more on their careers and work. They also have more time for their friends and family, and research has shown that singles are usually closer to their relatives and friends.
When a couple gets married, usually both partners stop going out with friends or spending time with colleagues. They isolate themselves from others and spend most of their time just together. It is the simplest and most comfortable solution for them.
For the psychologist, being single means that you do the things you like, meet your friends, and watch the movies that interest you. In general, married people do not always have the same tastes, which means that each of them must make compromises from time to time.
She hopes that our society will start even more to value singles and their ability to be self-sufficient. People should no longer feel sorry for singles because they can live their lives as they wish.
