Often, we think we are looking for love, without realizing that what we are really looking for is adrenaline. The heart that beats the pounding, the stomach that is knotted, different feelings overwhelm us ... But how do we know that we have found the rare pearl and that it is the good guy?
There is nothing more difficult to decode than our own feelings, because love can hide behind several masks: desire, pleasure, frustration, incomprehension. But then, how to distinguish?
Relationships are sometimes dramatic: we sometimes set our sights on a man and the more complications there are, the more the desire is intense. It often results in tears, renewed emotions and palpitations that make us feel alive, but that does not predict anything good. We often put a man on a pedestal, we refuse to take into account his faults by persuading himself that he can change and that no one is perfect. These disturbances disturb us and we find ourselves, constantly thinking about him, to develop an addiction.
We think that the more strong and devouring the feelings, the more the love we feel is real, wrong.
Passion, love or craze
We all tend to succumb to romanticism, even in its most violent form. How many of us were surprised to be yearning for a man who did not suit them? How many have forgiven, or turned a blind eye to childish and destructive behavior?
Choosing the wrong guy happens far more often than we believe and this choice often worsens our confidence and self-esteem. Before questioning yourself, ask yourself first if the man you chose will have been the ideal person to start a family, and if you do not feel that way, you will have chosen him as the father of your family. children. If the answer is no, then it's certainly not you that you have to blame.
Notion of Imago
Proposed by Carl Gustav Jung, Swiss psychiatrist of the twentieth century, the notion of Imago borrows its term from ancient Rome: imago clipeatta means Death Mask. The Imago concept says that the attraction we feel for another person is guided by our unconscious desire to rectify certain past problems.
We often attract men who reflect our wounds, with the subconscious goal of remedying deep deficiencies. The ego pushes us to challenge ourselves, to take risks to convince ourselves of certain things.
Injuries can be related to childhood, for example: a girl who is under constant criticism from her father, will unconsciously go to such a demanding man to convince herself that she is up to it. Or, a girl who lives in a large family and who often feels neglected, will be attracted by a cold and distant man to push him to be more demonstrative, to afford an opportunity to heal a painful feeling of past, but often this attitude only puts salt on an open wound.
Apprehension, fear, uncertainty are triggered by our instinct. The difficulty attracts us and we can assimilate our stories to novels with rose water where love is so tyrannical. But in reality, we are going straight into the wall.
Wise brain, reckless heart
A flash of heat at first sight and we are totally excited, certain that this man is our destiny and that we just fell in love at first sight. But is that enough reason to put so much hope in this man?
Of course, there are chances that this man is the right one, but to know it, you have to keep a cool head. Privilege long sincere and authentic conversations and moments to two. Give yourself time to better evaluate the person and above all, go wisely without skipping the steps.
