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Mom, Do You Want To Sleep With Me? When Your Children Want You To Sleep With Them At Night

Mom, Do You Want To Sleep With Me? When Your Children Want You To Sleep With Them At Night

It is not uncommon for a child to want to sleep with his mom and / or dad and ask them for attention. But, between responsibilities and daily tasks, it is sometimes hard to meet his expectations. However, this lack of availability can be experienced as abandonment and hinder its good development. Explanations.

The importance of time spent with his children

For a child to evolve and develop his or her self-awareness, personality and ability to interact with others, he or she needs emotional security. The latter is consolidated when his parents give him time and attention.

From birth, a baby seeks the attention of his parents, including crying, to meet his basic needs including physiological needs (hunger, cleanliness, sleep), the need for activities (stimulation of the senses, motor skills and knowledge) and emotional needs. These are illustrated by the need to be loved, to receive the marks of affection and to be in physical contact with one's parents. In addition, there are needs for belonging (culture, identity), social needs (communication, autonomy, self-esteem) and the need to be in a stable environment. It is only after the baby's parents and entourage have responded to these needs that the infant can develop properly and apprehend the moments of separation.

Growing up, a child will continue to ask for all their basic needs to be met, always through physical contact, but also by listening to and encouraging them. This will strengthen his emotional security and allow him to develop properly. If not, he will experience feelings of abandonment and anxiety, which can lead to a lack of self-confidence, behavioral problems, anxiety or language disorders.

Thus, it is important for parents to realize that spending time with their children is essential. But for this time to be effective, the parent must be physically present but also psychically. The challenge is to balance work and personal life and to find the right balance between the time a parent has to give to the well-being of his children and his own.

Bedtime, precious time
Once this equilibrium is found, parents and children will have to privilege certain moments together like: the moment of the bedtime. This is what a mother wanted to explain in a touching letter:

"My children have a new favorite phrase: Mom, are you going to sleep with me?

This is a phrase heard by many parents and my children tell me every night. This question is always in their mind as they enjoy spending time with us.


I am sad to realize that my answer every night was that I did not have time because I had to take care of their brothers and sisters, the kitchen or my job. Finally, whatever the reasons, I always told them "Just a second. Other things go first. "[...] Yet it is at this precise moment that my children tell me their day and they confide.

My grandmother told me to enjoy our children as long as we have them. She said that she did not understand why people have children if they do not spend time with them. She also said that she had loved raising her children and that she knew it would be the same for me.

My parents and those of my husband regularly remind us that one day, our children will not want to spend so much time with us. It breaks my heart just thinking about it but do you know what?

TODAY, I will go to bed with all my children if they ask me. I will sing to them their favorite songs. [...] And if it adds ten minutes to our late evening, despite our exhaustion and our lack of patience, it will simply be ten minutes that I had the chance to spend with them ... Listen to them, encourage them , tell them the words that mean: Today, now, you are the most important thing for me.


In ten years, these words will come back to me and when they grow up, preparing to start their own life, I will ask them to stop what they do, to sit with me for a moment ... And, they will do it.

We only have a few years to be truly present in their lives. Let's use this time wisely. "

Mom, Do You Want To Sleep With Me? When Your Children Want You To Sleep With Them At Night