Imbued with their person, selfish, proud, haughty ... are words that we often find when we talk about narcissistic people. Worse still, they are unable to love anyone other than themselves and negatively affect our lives. Overview of these individuals to the detrimental effects for our well-being and ways to move away.
The notion of narcissism originates from the myth of Narcissus. According to Greek mythology, Narcissus was the son of the river god Cephise and the nymph Liriopé. Endowed with great beauty, he fell in love with his reflection when he saw him in the water. Several purposes exist (he drowned by watching his reflection, he committed suicide in the face of this desperate passion), but all of them show that he was punished for the love he bore in his own image.
Subsequently, Freud drew on this myth to describe the evolution of the ego and the libido and named primary narcissism and secondary narcissism. These two stages of narcissism have also been taken up by many psychologists and psychiatrists including Jacques Lacan, who illustrates the primary narcissism by the stage of the mirror, that is to say when a child begins to distinguish himself with an identity. thanks to his reflection in the mirror. It would be the first stage where the child develops and apprehends the "I". Secondary narcissism is the moment when the child internalizes relations with others, especially with his mother, which will help him build his self-esteem and self-confidence.
However, for the construction of a balance between self-esteem and relationships to other healthy, the child must receive compliments and critics in an equivalent and consistent manner. Pushed to the extreme (too much criticism, too many compliments), the child can develop psychological problems in adulthood, including the narcissistic personality disorder.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
One distinguishes a person with a narcissistic personality disorder by his tendency to overestimate his skills, to exaggerate his achievements, to believe himself superior to others and especially to underestimate the value and achievements of others. Likewise, she wants and needs to be admired for her skills. Besides, she only wishes to associate with people whom she judges to be equal or superior to her intelligence.
Generally speaking, she has difficulty regulating her self-confidence, which may lead her to suffer from other ailments such as depression, anorexia, dependence on harmful and / or illicit substances or another personality trouble.
Narcissistic people: their negative effects on our lives
Thus, when they are not treated with psychotherapy, narcissists have a negative impact on our lives.
They absorb our energy
Narcissistic people have this tendency to absorb our energy. Indeed, by highlighting their achievements, even to denigrate ours, they manage to affect our morale and remove all our positive energy. Similarly, they can be very critical of our ideas or our relationships because they do not judge them "up to", which can discourage us.
They transmit their malaise
To put themselves forward, narcissistic people do not hesitate to crush others, even to transmit their malaise. Indeed, it is not uncommon for a person close to a narcissist to doubt himself and feel inferior, which impacts his own personal confidence.
They hurt their entourage
Narcissistic people, consciously or unconsciously, injure those around them. Indeed, by valuing their own personality and denigrating that of the person in front of them (family member, friend, colleague), they make others suffer.
How to get away from a narcissistic person?
Relationships with narcissistic people are therefore often toxic. They affect our happiness, our spirit, our soul and our life in general. Thus, by instinct of survival, it is better to move away from it. Here are some tips to help you:
- Be aware of the suffering that person inflicts on you
- Put the narcissistic person in the face of reality
- Understand that you will not be able to cure its ills
- Surround yourself with stable and caring people, who will support you to distance and / or break this toxic relationship
- Take care of yourself before taking care of others.
