It's very nice to be nice. But when you constantly put the needs of others ahead of yours, expect to be used and others benefit from your kindness. Do you want to know if you are too nice? Here are the signs that show that you are and that people take you for an idiot!
1. "NO" does not exist in your vocabulary
No matter what, you can not say no to requests, requests or orders. When you say no, you feel guilty and often change your mind just to please others and do what they want from you.
What you can do: Say NO. It's really very simple. Even if guilt is invading you, do not listen to it. Saying no does not mean that you are a selfish person, it does not make you mean or ungrateful.
2. Make others happy before yourself is your motto
You do not agree that someone does not agree with you. Unconsciously, you will do everything you can to please others.
Your friend tells you about her problems but you know that she is responsible for her own misery. However, you do not tell him what you think for fear of offending him.
What you can do: Spend some time alone thinking about your values and the things that matter most to you. Regardless of whether others agree or disagree, a mature person will respect differences.
3. You say things you do not think
Even if you do not say it, you still see life in a way that is unique to you. But when people express a different opinion, you risk retaining your opinion and so saying something other than what you really think.
What you can do: Give yourself the chance to truly believe in your principles without having to change them just to please others.
4. You do not know what boundaries mean
It is very easy for you to let people invade you and occupy your space, your time, influence your mood, your emotions and even your opinions and thoughts. People expect you to always be available to meet their needs.
What you can do: Know your own needs and desires. This means your non-negotiable basic needs such as rest, food, time alone, hobbies, health, etc.
5. You have a love-hate relationship with "Sorry"
You do not like to say it, but you end up saying it all day long. Even if someone is wrong, it is you who apologize. It's almost as if you are apologizing for your existence and breathing the air that you think you do not deserve.
What you can do: Understand that you do not have to be sorry to have opinions, to express them, or to take care of your needs first. If someone hurts you, it's up to them to apologize, not to you.
6. Guilt: your friend forever
You are late ? You feel guilty. Your friend has a bad day, you feel guilty. You confuse the feelings of others with yours a lot.
What you can do: Learn to recognize your feelings from others. Do not confuse your authentic feelings with those of others or with what they make you feel, that is, guilt.
7. You prefer to ostrich than to disagree
Confrontations or arguments frighten you. So you are afraid of disagreements with others. This could come from your belief that everything is black or white.
What you can do: Never take disputes personally. It is quite normal to disagree with some people, but that does not mean that it will lead to violent conflict.
8. You always say "YES" and you regret it later
Gentle people are often overwhelmed with work or tasks they do not like. They often feel resentment and sometimes they do not feel appreciated.
What you can do: For a day, do only things that are good for you. If you have to work, then do only what is expected of you, without additional tasks. If you do it often, you will begin to free yourself from the expectations of others.
9. Only your mirror sees you pissed off
When something goes wrong, you prefer to move on to something other than focusing on the injustice you have suffered. When you're upset, no one knows it, other than your mirror.
What you can do: The more you object to unfair treatment, the less people will have the courage to do so. It gives you the courage to defend yourself and never let people walk on you.
