"So, when's the second? "When do you make him a little brother / sister? So many indelicate remarks that are the daily life of couples who have an only child. Parents must stop being blamed for not having a second child. Often people who allow themselves such remarks have no idea of the hardships they experience as a couple or in their family life.
No matter how much friendship you have with the couple, this question is not your responsibility. It is unwise to interfere in the projects of parents and this is absolutely not constructive. This question, most often asked innocently, can make these parents feel that having a child is a bad thing. But to make that choice is absolutely not blameworthy. Sometimes this choice may be motivated by financial, psychological or biological reasons. Topics that parents may not want to discuss.
Postpartum depression
Jen Schwartz's rant has the merit of setting the record straight. This mom shared her revolt on Mother Instagram's mom network. The mother recounts the pain she endured because of the indelicate remarks she received daily after her delivery. At the same time, Jen Schwartz was under severe strain: postpartum depression. This mental disorder is a difficult test at the end of childbirth. Men can suffer as well. Also known as baby-blues, this particular depression may be accompanied by irritability, insomnia and a change in mood. Postpartum depression requires real medical and therapeutic support for the victim. It requires patience and rigor to establish a balanced relationship with the baby.
The mother explains on the exchange platform: "I did not want to have any more children the day I left the hospital with my first baby. Depression hit me like a hurricane. "This experience can be so traumatic that it can prevent another pregnancy. An indelicate remark may stir the knife into the wound for people who have suffered postpartum depression.
Permanent justification
Jen had a heated exchange in a beauty salon. His child was only a year old. A client asks her, "When will you have the next? The mother says, "We decided that only one child was enough for our family. We feel fulfilled. The response of her interlocutor has filled her with joy. "I also have an only son. When you create a masterpiece, it makes no sense to paint another one. " This metaphor caused a click in her. Since then, the mother no longer feels obliged to justify herself to the curious.
Jen lives in constant fear of experiencing postpartum depression. She is not ready to sacrifice her health and the well-being of her first child to develop a second one. For her, it is better for her child to have a healthy mother than to have a little brother or sister. This test was hard for the couple and for the moral health of the mother. She recalls, "When Mason was 1, I finally felt confident and happy to be a mother. I am coming back from far. I want to go forward now and see my child grow up "
After experiencing this experience, mom wants one-child parents to not feel ashamed. Whether it's a child or five, the important thing is to give love and support.
