Love does us good but also hurts us. It then becomes essential to leave someone who is hurting us, and that seems like the best thing to do. The heart is broken, the mind is mixed and the pain is persistent, such are the lot of feelings that we experience when we decide to leave someone we love but who has no place in our life. And all this for one good reason: to find peace and balance. It is an act of bravery to leave everything behind and move forward to regain your well-being.
Certain attitudes seem unforgivable, especially when they come from a person we particularly love. But when love is omnipresent in the heart, there is a tendency to withdraw into oneself, to abdicate and to accept. We accept this betrayal, this injustice and this humiliation, sometimes out of love or even out of habit or fear of being obsessed with loneliness.
Is it possible to really forgive and forever?
When we are confronted with destabilizing emotions following a betrayal, in most cases we keep resentments which can materialize in a temptation to take revenge and to return the harm we have been inflicted. But is it a good idea? Because revenge is often the first stone that obstructs our path to pacification. With a spirit of vendetta, we remain fixed on the past, to remember our history, with no real possibility of going forward and progressing.
We make up Machiavellian plans in our heads, like horror films, while the evil we plan to do is in reality only a venom that will eat us up from the inside, that will poison us and will lower us and ultimately cause us to lose all of our self-esteem. Without forgetting the feeling of guilt that we will experience without being able to escape it and which will hinder our quest for inner peace.
Other people will adopt forgiveness as a way to find peace of mind. But forgiving does not mean denying or forgetting, which in itself is a way to escape pain and is not real forgiveness. And if betrayal becomes an integral part of our daily lives, forgiving becomes difficult…
For some, leaving the relationship becomes the ultimate solution
With all the goodwill in the world to absolve the evil caused by this person, we make our lives miserable. Our energy is overturned or even wiped out, by wanting to make someone who does not deserve happy, and always give them a second chance.
Leaving and leaving this person then becomes the last resort to preserve their happiness, even if it occupies an important place in our heart. And for good reason, when confidence is shaken and your heart is broken, there is no room for absolution or even for indulgence.
But from this certainly painful experience, we emerge rich in strength and wisdom. We know what kind of person really deserves to be an integral part of our life.
In the end, you have to listen to your mind and your heart when they warn us, because the best is yet to come.
How to leave the other gently?
An expert psychologist, gives us an update on the question and invites us to ask ourselves a few questions before launching headlong into the process of rupture. Because for the person who least expects it, this situation will be brutal.
Breaking up by texting or playing dead does not seem the best solution, says the psychologist. It's about taking responsibility and talking it over to explain the reason for the breakup, because leaving without saying anything is the worst cowardice. In addition, the psychologist believes that there is no good time to announce the breakup. Procrastinating a separation can cause even more serious dysfunction in the relationship, and the suffering will be increased tenfold. It is therefore up to everyone to find the right moment to end a relationship that demolishes and consumes slowly.