Whether you've made a new friend recently, or have known this person for years, you may not always know how to behave in this relationship. You need to know if this person is truly loyal to you and if it supports you. It's reassuring to know who your real friends are, and sometimes, when you start to wonder if they really are, it's because there's a problem.
Here are the 6 pillars that make up a genuine friendship, and how to tell the difference between a good friend and a toxic person:
1. Support
A good friend helps you get up when you are at the low end. When you feel sad, angry or betrayed, a friend must be there to get you up and help you move on.
A toxic friend gives you a few more reasons for you to feel even worse. Either it does not make any effort to cheer you up, or it feeds on your weakness.
2. Confidence
A true friend celebrates your successes and qualities. He accepts your faults and appreciates your passions and your talents without judgment. If you accomplish something, it is by your side; He is proud of you and is excited about your success.
A toxic friend will highlight your failures. It is a sign that he is jealous, which usually happens when one person feels inferior to another, and can show his resentment in the most subtle way. If you think your friend is constantly trying to outdo yourself or denigrate you, you must ask yourself why you continue to patronize him. If he seems uncomfortable, grumpy, sighs, or often looks at you, it's likely he's judging you or jealous.
3. Compassion
A real friend sympathizes but understands that your experiences are personal. He must understand that he has not lived every part of your life, that you are two individuals with your own experiences and your own values. A toxic friend turns every situation to talk about him.
You hear a lot of "I" and "I" in your conversations, even if you're the main concerned. Some people do not have the ability to slip into each other's skin and think that their point of view is the center of the universe. They absolutely want to be right and do not even bother to listen to your arguments.
4. Space
A true friend leaves you time and space when you need it. He understands that you have other commitments, other friends, and that you sometimes just need to stay alone. Even if you do not meet regularly, you act as if you had seen yourself the day before when you are together.
A toxic friend occupies your time and thoughts. It is critical to your friends - even your family - and does not accept them. It takes a lot of your time and makes you feel guilty if you are not at his side the exact moment he needs you. He expects to be invited to every party you go, but he does not invite you.
5. Patience
A good friend is patient to you. This ranges from your usual delay to a joke displaced. Forgiveness and understanding must be the pillars of your relationship. But at the same time, he will be frank if he thinks you are not treating him correctly.
A toxic friend easily loses his composure. It is a sign of insecurity. If he feels alone or uncomfortable, you are probably his only support, and if you are not there, he gets angry. You tend to feel guilty and exhausted after spending time with him, constantly assuring you not to offend him or hinder him. Such efforts are generally not part of a healthy relationship.
6. Honesty
This is the most important part of any relationship. A good friend is the guardian of your greatest secrets; It will never betray your confidence. He feels free to talk with you about his feelings, and he keeps his mouth sewn when he is with other people. He understands perfectly that keeping your trust will determine your friendship, and he has no desire to spread your secrets so that others can listen to them.
A toxic friend - as you probably guessed it - will do the opposite. Whether he tells everybody your secrets or only one or two people, it is the infallible sign that you can not trust him. Generally, this kind of people cares more about their social status than about their friendships. They are not often happy.