To give birth to a child, to educate him and to give him the means to lead a happy and peaceful life make parenting an extremely difficult job. It is not surprising that parents are obsessed with the smallest details about their parenting skills, while simply trying to take care of a child's basic needs. They are right because sometimes a simple gesture can harm the child psychologically.
It is obvious that the parents communicate with the children and at times they tell them hurtful things. Moreover, this contributes to the development of children and it is quite normal for them to react to their parents' remarks!
Dr. Matt Woolgar of the Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology and Neuroscience at King's College London explains that in a family of three, one or two children can react normally to parents' comments while the third child can be extremely hurt by the same comment.
Although siblings grew up in the same environment, everyone is receptive to parents' comments in a different way than the other. We can distinguish two types of children according to their degree of sensitivity, children dandelions and children orchids
Dandelion children and orchids children
Dr. Megan Gunnar, a child development expert at Stanford University, explains that dandelion children are neurobiologically less sensitive and will thrive in favorable homes or not. On the contrary, orchids children only prosper when they are in favorable environments. On the other hand, if they are unfavorable, the child will develop behavioral problems including aggression, cruelty to animals.
This reference to flowers is relative to its resistance in its development environment, the orchid for example hatches in a specific environment but fades in inadequate conditions. Moreover, dandelion can grow anywhere, and adapts even in austere conditions.
But how can a parent tell if his child is particularly sensitive?
One of the duties of a parent is to listen to his child and be able to understand it; a child's reaction to parental behavior may not be immediate. Dr. Woolgar explains that his three-year-old son sometimes repeats the comments he made to her a week earlier. Parents must be careful to be able to notice any positive or negative reaction of the child.
The difficulty that parents may face is being able to understand and adapt to children of many ages, because a four-year-old will probably not understand the irony or sarcasm in the same way that a child of 10 years.
But experts are convinced that children are psychologically traumatized only if they are subjected to significant and prolonged stressful experiences.
Therefore, parents who support, accompany and express love to their children are very unlikely to cause harm with flippant phrases.
How to respond to a sensitive child?
Whether the child is sensitive or hypersensitive, it is not a psychological disorder, it is a way of being that makes him a child who is vexed for nothing and who has the easy tear. This kind of child has a predisposition from birth to be hypersensitive, the causes are multiple: genetic, circumstances of pregnancy, family circle or relationship with parents.
To help them, it is better to pay attention to their emotions and to promote their expression.
Encourage your child to express emotions
Fear, anger and joy are among the emotions that babies express first, but by the age of 30 months, children begin to express emotions based on how they perceive themselves. They may feel embarrassed, guilty or proud, hence the responsibility of the parents:
Give your child support, cuddle and take care of them. This will solidify the connection that exists between you. For example, when your child gives you a hug, take the time to make one.
Help your child understand the emotions by naming them. For example: "I'm very happy when you smile at me", or "it's normal that you're frustrated, I understand you're crying"
Seeking the origin of his hypersensitivity
As mentioned before, a child can come into action following a situation at the same time as he can do a week later. The child, through his aggressive behavior, may express previous pain or feelings of insecurity. This may be due to the loss of a grandparent, a difficult integration at school or simply the arrival of a new member in the family. It is therefore important for parents to understand the cause of the child's behavior so that it can be remedied.