Having the faculty of being naturally kind without backward thoughts is at first sight a great quality. However, being kind all the time, in any condition, or overly, can be likened to a sign of weakness that, for its part, is rather seen as a defect by those who perceive goodness as a certain lack of affirmation. "Too nice" people simply find it hard to say no and experience an almost irreversible and constant fear of displeasing others.
Confucius said: "act with kindness but do not expect recognition". Unfortunately for those who know how to use it, the reality is quite different. Because it is very true that people who are too kindly even expect unconsciously, a certain form of recognition from those whom they consider to treat with exemplarity and even to pass before their own well-being.
9 Signs You Are Being Overly Nice and People Have Started Taking You For Granted
1. Do not know how to say "no"
Being unable to say no to others, to their requests and requests is indicative of a tendency to pass the desires of others well before one's own and especially the fear of disappointing others. This incapacity can also awaken anger against oneself for not daring to say no to requests that we really do not wish to follow up. Saying no will not give you the image of being a selfish or nasty person, but will rather reveal a lack of time and a certain self-esteem.
2. Rally instantly to the opinions of others
Your excess of kindness instantly pushes you not to decide against your surroundings and you systematically rally to their opinions or moods? You simply feel anxious to offend anyone by imposing your opinion or giving advice that would not necessarily please. You should simply try to balance things out and impose your own opinion. You have every right to have your own opinions and to claim them freely without feeling the slightest fear.
3. Reluctantly adhere to the opinions of others
Of course, you have your own opinions that you have forged through your education and experience. But being too kind, as soon as another person puts forward their opinions or principles that may differ from yours, you find yourself immediately supporting comments that do not correspond to you. Saying your vision will not make you someone reprehensible but only a person who assumes his own principles.
4. Do not impose limits on others
It is your nature to be too kind in all circumstances and not to be able to impose limits on others? You make yourself available at any time, make all services possible without complaining, etc. You run the risk that others will benefit. Learn to take time only for yourself and not respond positively to all the solicitations. Otherwise, you seriously expose yourself to "enjoy" your kindness.
5. To apologize constantly
In fact, constantly apologizing to others shows a low esteem for you vis-à-vis others. Unconsciously, it's as if you're sorry to exist! Learn to be discerning and analyze the fact that you do not necessarily have to apologize to them.
6. Feeling continuously guilty
Feeling guilty about anything and everything is another telling sign of the lack of self-esteem and the strong apprehension of disappointing anyone. Try to moderate your excessive sense of duty and stop putting yourself constantly on the defensive. The others do not necessarily have something to reproach you for.
7. Do not dare to disagree
Again, not daring to offend anyone by disagreeing with others reveals a form of fear of conflict and rejection and also conveys feelings of inferiority. You can simply say what you think while measuring your words, people will not necessarily hold you to rigor.
8. Say yes to everything
Saying yes to everything can be very exhausting in the end, especially when you are deep inside you, you would like to shout no. People who are too kind do not dare to say no for fear of disappointing the other, of hurting or even hurting. To know how to say no is above all to have enough self-confidence to dare to say it and to rely on one's own choices.
9. Do not dare to assert yourself publicly
To be too kind can prevent one from asserting oneself and thus from putting forward one's opinions, fighting against injustices starting with those which concern you and defending one's neighbor when it proves to be necessary. Know only one small effort on oneself, allows to multiply naturally the next ones.