The human being develops and evolves thanks to the social relations that he has with other people. It is a fundamental need for everyone to be surrounded, to communicate and to feel positive emotions and affection. However, not all relationships are good and sometimes the other's true intentions are mistaken.
Between the technological evolution allowing to be in regular contact at a distance and the social media where the knowledge proliferate unceasingly, the real friendship, sincere and reciprocal is done more and more rare. Meetings are more accessible but not necessarily simpler. Yet friendship is one of the first fulfilling relationships we make outside the family. She has an important place in our life.
The balance in friendship
But for a friendship to be fulfilling and rewarding, it must be reciprocal and healthy. In a way, friendship is a rational love without intercourse constraints. Efforts must be made to cherish it, take care of it and make it last. When we are friends with someone, we worry about that person, we spend time with them, we laugh with them, we think about common projects, we share our sorrows and we count on his presence in good ones as in bad times.
However, as nothing is learned about friendship, the relationship can change in nature: becoming in love and / or being unbalanced. And generally, it is this second type of relationship that hurts us the most. If the other does not spend as much time as you spend on it, neglecting your feelings, not worrying about how you are or worse, taking advantage of this friendly relationship to put yourself forward and fill a gap. narcissistic injury, then you have to think about the real intentions of that person.
Sorting in his friends
Among our friends, whether they are childhood friends or new acquaintances, there are people with whom it may be necessary to distance themselves or even to break bridges. Because we do not evolve at the same pace, because our expectations and desires change, because our paths sometimes take different directions or simply, to take care of his psychic and physical health, it is sometimes necessary to break a friendly link.
As the psychoanalyst Beatrice Copper-Royer explains, in an article in Psychologies: "We must cut short if the link is unhealthy, if one dominates or vampires the other. "
In other cases, like a conflict that can be settled, time heals the wounds. It is then necessary to determine if the friendly break will do more good or bad but as she recalls: "Anyway, never maintain a friendship at any price. "
Indeed, even if the friendly breakups are painful (as much as the breakups) and send us back to our own faults and failures, they take away a weight and free us from negativity. What is the point of striving to be loved by others and to share things if, in the end, we have nothing in common? It is better to keep the good memories of this relationship, if there are any, and to open up to new, sometimes more enriching, knowledge.
Generally speaking, this evolution concerning our vision of friendship (I know myself, I do not need the other to exist) brings us back to the family, the one we have always known and the one we create. Inevitably, romantic relationships, professional relationships, and children take friendship back into the background. Faced with the responsibilities of daily life and the fatigue that this can cause, we no longer have the opportunity to see our friends so often. This phenomenon then generates a natural sort and our sincere and real friends are often the only ones to emerge from this process. It is then necessary to find a happy medium and a balance between friendship, love, family and one's own well-being in order to better live one's relationships with others.
