Nobody likes to listen to people complaining! No matter how empathic you are, there's always that little voice in your head that says, "So why are you telling me?" or "Why are not you just going to find a solution instead of complaining?" And the more complaints you hear the more you feel overwhelmed by negativity, and you're right because science has just confirmed that prolonged exposure to negativity and complaint diminishes the brain's ability to solve problems.
Since human beings are intrinsically social, our brain naturally and unconsciously mimics the moods of those around us, especially those with whom we spend a lot of time. This process is called neural mirroring and is the basis of our ability to feel empathy.
Negativity is your enemy
In an article from Inc magazine, it was quoted that complaining not only alters mental health as proven by several researches, but can weaken the immune system and make the body vulnerable to disease.
Trevor Blake, entrepreneur and author of the guide "A map of success in business and life," says in an interview that research suggests that listening to negative comments for an extended period of time can "extract" energy from your seahorse , the area of the brain associated with memory and the consolidation of complex ideas.
Blake describes the concept in terms of business management, saying it's important to be proactive, telling the complainer (probably an employee) to turn what he says into positive words, or even just stop listen to people who complain.
So how do you protect your brain from negativity? Blake recommends the following tactics:
1. Take a distance
"My father was a big smoker, I tried to change his habits, but it was not easy. Confesses Blake who knew that second-hand smoke could also damage his own lungs. "My only recourse was to distance myself. "
You should look at the complaints the same way, he says. Your brain will thank you if you move away from the complainer, if you can.
2. Ask the Complainer to solve his problems
Sometimes taking distance is not an option. If you can not easily get away, a second strategy is to ask the complainer to solve his problems.
Some will be surprised and upset about your reaction but know that others will really start thinking about real solutions to their problems.
3. Protect yourself!
When you are trapped by listening to a complaint, you can use mental techniques to block the capture of information and save your neurons. This technique is used during the match of Spanish golfer Seve Ballesteros against Jack Nicklaus, a match that the crowd wanted to lose for Ballesteros. The latter was struggling to handle the hostility of the crowd, so he imagined a bell that no one could see coming down from the sky to protect him. It's his imaginary shield to protect himself against all that negative energy he received in the middle of the game.
Another related strategy is to mentally withdraw from your current location and imagine yourself in your favorite place, where you would go if you could wave a magic wand. For Blake it was a walk on the sweet white sand of a private island he had seen in a magazine and which he had always dreamed of.
Just like smoking, drinking too much or lying on the couch watching TV all day, complaining is bad for you. Say stop to complainers and enjoy a healthy and positive spirit!
