We know that men come from Mars and women come from Venus. But women do not stop asking questions to try to understand men. What is a man looking for in a woman? What are his aspirations and deep desires? What does it take to truly thrive in a relationship?
Rich, beautiful, intelligent, sensual ... What would be the ideal woman for a man? According to Mirror, who reports on a study conducted by the eHarmony dating site, 64% of men are intrinsically looking for a woman with the same personality traits as their mothers. Indeed, the personality test carried out, evaluated the characters of mothers and partners of some men. Obvious similarities in thinking and acting were highlighted.
If you do not appreciate your stepmother, it seems that she can give you valuable advice to preserve your relationship.
The Oedipus complex marks the mother-son relationship
Men naturally choose women who have the same values as their mothers. This observation has its origin in Freudian psychoanalysis. Who was the first love of the little boy who became the man of today? His mother of course. Having failed to drive his father to exclusively own his mother, the boy continues to develop this desire to benefit from this maternal love, this time, will belong to him alone.
The first woman he loved first, who instilled in him so many principles, values, and who offered him unconditional love, will always have an impact on his future love choices. The relationship between a boy and his mother is powerful and unparalleled. It would also seem that there is a duality in the boy between the desire for seduction and the deep attachment to the maternal figure.
As the little boy grows up, the mother-son relationship evolves gradually.
Between two and four years:
This crucial period marks the beginning of the Oedipus complex. The boy unconsciously feeds feelings of love towards his mother while gradually moving away from the father figure. He becomes extremely possessive and demands more affectionate gestures and tenderness from his mother. He can also burst into his parents' room to ask for hugs.
After 7 years:
The child realizes that the actions taken to seduce his mother can not succeed. He will give up the idea of owning his mother and will naturally move closer to his father or other male models. If mom chose it, it's worth it! They will try to identify with this man who stole their mother. Father and son will then be able to share more moments together.
The unconscious influence of the maternal figure in the love choices of the man
While fathers are often associated with entertainment, mothers are the ones who give love and care to the boy.
The psychoanalyst Alain Braconnier reveals that the mother unconsciously influences her son throughout his life.
The values and education transmitted to the son by the mother have shaped the man he is. He has been conditioned since his earliest years to adopt certain gestures, to think in a singular way and to make choices judged correct by his mother. Moreover, we know that the greatest reward a child can hope for is the pride of his mother.
This resonates in his subconscious as an adult. Like a psychic automatism, her mind will naturally go towards a woman who could please her mother and who would have the same characteristics as her.
If the mother was admiring
The man will look for a partner who will look at him with wonder. He wants to benefit from this unconditional love his mother brought him. He will look for a woman who will show his fragility and who will make him his hero. He will not be interested in independent women or with a strong personality.
If she was an overprotective mother:
If this overprotection prevented the man from flourishing, he could find a woman who will express a similar love to him. However, he will seek to defend himself against this invading person. He will manage to put the distance he did not manage to impose on his mother.
If the mother was distant:
If the man has known a cold and distant mother, he will have great difficulty in trusting his spouse. He will be more cautious and the law of attraction could probably prove him right. However, if this man meets an affectionate woman, he could instead give him all his love and invest in the relationship.
